if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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