this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize