Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
