im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
