Tell her she can't have a vagina
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize