What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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