Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
