bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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