God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
