Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
