I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
