So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
