Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
