Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
