Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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