how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
