i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
