if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
