Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
