well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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