when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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