theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
