If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
