she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
