Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
