I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
