it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
