dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
