so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she told me i tasted like america
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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