i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
