How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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