I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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