Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
