Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
