omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
