Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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