i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
