i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
