so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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