I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
