Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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