Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
