Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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