is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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