Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
