every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
