My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
