I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
