I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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