So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
