He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
