first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize