yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
