You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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