I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
