just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My orgasm happened in two different decades
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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