im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
bring money and cleavage
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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