Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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