She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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