If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
