I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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