Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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