Where is the hickey?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize