We won't sleep together?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
