it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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