I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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