just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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