508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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