Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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