is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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