Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
