his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
